I first met Gay Liddington when she attended one of my Relax and Write Retreats at Burleigh Heads back in 2019. From the first time I heard about her story of courage and resilience in overcoming a troubled childhood of family violence and abuse, I knew it was a story that HAD to be told. I’m always banging on about the importance of getting those stories that won’t leave us alone out of our heads and onto the page, because, to paraphrase Salman Rushdie, we need to take control of the stories we tell ourselves about the past, or otherwise let them forever shape our futures.
When we claim our stories and start writing them, magic begins.
Suddenly the stories are not who we are, but what we make of them. We begin to believe that we can change and shape futures different from the darkness of the past. We learn we have power over the stories, that we can shape them into the story that we WANT to tell, not just what we NEED to let go of. We write and rewrite and polish until we realise we’ve done it! We’ve created something beautiful from the pain that used to define us. Now it is the beauty that defines us. Beauty of our own making.
This is what Gay has done with her brave and compelling new memoir Will I Ever Be Who I Am.
Not long after we first met, I was looking for someone to do catering for a new retreat centre where I was hoping to run writing retreats. Gay put her hand up and we’ve been great retreat buddies ever since. She cooked, I edited and gave advice and slowly over a number of years Gay’s book took shape. I also took shape, my belly growing bigger with each one of Gay’s delicious sweet treats I couldn’t resist. There’s a reason her partner Phil is known as “Tummy Big”.
Gay, her daughter Kylie and friend June with the book launch table laden with goodies!!
Gay was already a writer, a journalist writing feature articles for The Hinterland Times. Now they’re writing stories about her! Here’s the feature article (pages 4 and 5)they published recently about Gay’s book.
Gay had been writing and performing poetry, stories and comedy for decades, but this was her first concerted attempt at writing her memoir. She wanted justice, she said. And to not go to her grave with secrets weighing heavy on her soul.
Writing our stories frees us and is a safe way to right the wrongs done to us, especially when we were children and had no voice, no power.
Gay and Leah Dodds, owner of Rosetta Books at Gay’s launch.
Gay has always been a “Do It Yourself” kind of person, so she didn’t want to pursue traditional publishing. Instead, she bought a design template from Book Design Templates and figured out how to do the layout herself. She then worked with Paradigm Print Media to develop a cover and have copies printed. Her cover image is her own concept, taken from a photo of her at 17 when she’d first escaped to the army. A photo her abusive step-father had torn to pieces, and her loving mother had glued back together again.
Recently we launched Gay’s powerful memoir at the Maleny Neighbourhood Centre, where, true to character, Gay donated a dollar from every book to support the programs run at the centre to support women, children and others affected by family violence. What a day it was! After months of rainy weekends, the sun shone brightly all afternoon as we sat in the outdoor covered area, close to the Serenity Grief Garden. Gay had made enough cakes and biscuits to feed an army, allocating five pieces per person!
A crowd of friends, loved ones, retreaters and book lovers cheered Gay on as we talked about what it took to transform her memories into a compelling and empowering story. As Gay read excerpts from her book, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. I was already teary from the introductions, so very proud of Gay and all she’s achieved.
We were honoured to have Judith Munday OAM, who was a young officer when Gay first joined the army in 1969, officially launch the book. Judith was there to pick up the pieces and help this broken young woman take her first steps into selfhood. It was only fitting she was also there to celebrate the strong, fearless, creative woman Gay’s become.
Gay’s army memorabilia and the original torn photo.
Gay’s memoir is available for sale HERE on my website, and at Rosetta Books Maleny and Annie’s Books at Peregian. Also coming to Amazon soon for international readers.
There are many paths to publication. Gay’s path was perfect for her, the angels she has such faith in lighting the way before her step by step all the way to her magical day of celebration. Which path will you take?
Here to help you find your way!
Lots of love
Edwina xx
Gay and Phil 🙂
Edwina Shaw 