SHOW DON’T TELL (mostly)

But how do I do it?

One of the first pieces of advice all new writers hear is “Show don’t tell”. But what does it mean? And how do you do it?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

Really, it’s about the difference between telling someone about an event and RECREATING that event on the page so that they too can experience what it was like to be there. How do we do this? By WRITING IN SCENES!

When we write in scenes we are, as much as is possible, translating experience into word pictures that a reader can see, hear, smell, feel and taste through their imaginations interacting with our words on the page. It’s the difference between telling someone, “I had a really rotten time at school. I was bullied,” and showing them by writing a scene of you being bullied at school so that they can walk in your shoes for a minute or two – so they feel the spit-ball land on the back of your head as you walk through the schoolgrounds, so they smell the rotten egg sandwiches the bully put in your locker, so they hear the taunts and feel the hurt inflicted. 

Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels.com

HOW DO YOU DO IT?

Look through what you’ve written, whether it’s memoir or fiction it all works the same. Find a passage where you’re telling – don’t worry we all do it, even experienced writers have unwanted patches of telling in their first drafts – something that has potential for a scene. For example, “My father was a really great man”. Instead of telling us, SHOW US how he was great, in his own unique way. 

Write the scene of how he did you wrong, show us the good he did. Let us hear him speak, the things he said, the smell of him. Find a moment of a harsher side of him too, so he becomes more than a caricature of goodness. Develop the scene fully. Show us the conflict. Think of each scene as a little mini story painting a picture of the life you want to portray, the plot point you want to illustrate, the character you want us to understand.

Photo by Derick Makwasi on Pexels.com

Here’s an article on HOW TO WRITE A SCENE IN 6 EASY STEPS and another on WRITING CONCISE SCENES.

TELLING A LITTLE BIT

Though mostly it’s best to write predominantly in scenes, telling is also an important part of shaping and most especially grounding our stories. At the start of a scene for example you need to make sure the reader knows where and when they are in time and place and who the POV character is for the scene. Make sure you GROUND YOUR READER with a little bit of telling – it doesn’t have to be much, a sentence or two. 

For example: When I was seven years old, we lived on the banks of the Oxley Creek in a sixties fibro house my father had renovated himself, so all the doors and windows hung slightly awry. Then you can go into a scene set in that slightly crooked house.

Photo by Henry Han on Pexels.com

OR you can use telling to cover a large period of time when nothing much happened. Don’t feel that every single detail needs to be included in your story. Unless you’ve been poisoned, we really don’t care what you had for breakfast, or if your character has chestnut curls after a recent trip to the hairdresser – unless they’re disguising themselves on the run from police.

Instead, you can use a brief passage of telling to fill us in. For example: Three years later I was still on the run, but I was desperate to see my mother again. My sister had got a message to my hut on a Thai island. Mum was sick. I had to see her. No matter the risk. So I dyed my hair brown and curled it, padded myself with cushions, plastered my face in dark tan foundation and took the risk of getting on a flight back to my hometown. 

Photo by Fabian Wiktor on Pexels.com

READ widely in your genre of choice and mark out passages of telling between scenes. Can you spot them? Now have a look at your own project. Are you mainly telling? What sections might work well as scenes? 

Now WRITE THAT SCENE. Use the tips in my articles on writing scenes to help. Your writing will come alive on the page and your readers will feel as if they too are experiencing the story events, not just hearing about them.

GOOD LUCK! Let me know how you go!

Lots of love

Edwina xx

Retreataholics Write up a Storm! April Retreat Rundown

Our fabulous writing gang at the first ever Just Write Retreat, Springbrook April 4- 8 2024

Well this retreat had it all, pouring rain, pademelons, bursts of spectacular sunshine, bush walks, new friends, writing buddies, glowing fires and our new cosy “Gay’s Corner” for writing chats, feedback, workshops, ritual burnings in the sacrificial salad bowl, tarot readings, Persian love cakes, 4 am arrivals, leeches (YUCK!), fun and laughter and lots and lots of writing. Just watch them go!

“A beautiful environment to share and inspire creativity and story.” Retreater Just Write April 2024

Repeat Retreaters far outnumbered newbies this time but by the end of the retreat it felt as if we’d all been friends since preschool. A new term has been coined, RETREATAHOLICS, for those who just can’t get enough of these special events bringing women writers together to be inspired and get their dream projects happening. We had impressive word counts rising higher ever day, complete newbies working their way through writing exercises at the rate of knots, more experienced writers sharing work and getting back on track with their labours of love, new ideas hatching, tarot readings, rituals to help free us from all we wanted to leave behind and collages to help usher in all the good stuff.

“A perfect opportunity to meet writing buddies to share and learn with in future. Practical tools enabled me to focus on specific writing goals and pursue my writing project. As well as food for the writing soul there were delicious wholesome home-cooked meals, and meditation and yoga which opened up spaces for writing.” Annie Kemp Retreater Just Write April 2024

Four nights and five days of writing time in a glorious location, most of it raining, which as we know is perfect weather for writers and ducks. When the sun shone we were outside quick smart, sitting in the glorious gardens and exploring the protected forest and our nearby stream and 100 metre waterfall. The water was up, and before everyone arrived I snuck in a fabulous swim! So refreshing – cold water can work miracles!

We feasted on, Chief Cookie and almost published author, Gay Liddington’s delicious homemade meals, with Annie’s scrumptious Persian Love Cake a special treat, and the vegetarian nachos and stuffed zucchinis making everyone’s favourites list. Gay makes everything from scratch and is the wicked Mummy in the kitchen taking care of us all and stuffing us to the gills. Coconut and almond cake? Macadamia Anzac cookies? Homemade baked beans and cheesy corn muffins? Walnut and veggie curry? Sound yummy? We’re going to have to do a new version of the retreat cookbook soon!

“How wonderful to be able to sit and write without the drama of preparing meals and cleaning up afterwards. The atmosphere was calm and nurturing and inspiring. All the women have a chance to read their work, showing parts of themselves. The tarot reading and massage were the cherry on top of a fabulous retreat” Sally Mansfield Retreater Just Write April 2024

The fire was glowing in the hall as writers typed or scribbled in notebooks, and our daily Q & A sessions with the brain trust provided lots of information and fuel for thought. With two lawyers in our troupe we had a very interesting discussion on ethics for memoirists. Every evening we had readings from whoever wanted to have a turn, discovering new and intriguing voices and stories. So proud of everyone for having a turn, it takes a lot of courage to share your work in progress, especially for newbies.

Artwork and words by Marie Seeman, First Time Retreater Just Write April 2024

As always, it is the women who come along to these retreats that make them so special. Women together nurture and support each other and I am so grateful for the lovely people who supported and looked after me as well as others in the group. Just love you girls! Some kind of magic is at work when we all come together. I love watching new writing friendships form, the sudden epiphanies that make a writing problem miraculously easy to solve, the new ideas that spring from random conversations and the total relaxation that sinks writers deep into their chairs to gaze into the distance.

“This retreat has made so much difference to me physically and mentally.” Retreater Just Write April 2024

A wonderful feature of these local retreats are the unique body-work treatments offered by Monique De Goey. Retreaters emerge from the massage room, hair askew, eyes slightly crossed, looking like they could happily float away on a rainbow cloud. Monique’s body wisdom is unbeatable and we were super lucky that she also ran a couple of movement sessions for us focusing on releasing our necks and shoulders. If you’re in need of a good untangling of your neck and shoulders or any other bits BOOK A SESSION WITH MONIQUE.

WHAT’S NEXT?
In July I’m off to Bali for our Blissful Bali retreat 10 – 17 July, (wait list for Bali 2025 filling – bags a spot HERE) but then in August I’m back in Queensland for the next RELAX AND WRITE FEEDBACK AND REVISION RETREAT, SPRINGBROOK 9 – 11 2024. This retreat features workshops focusing on self-editing, redrafting, refining your prose and preparing pitch materials like your synopsis and bio. Sound like something that would work for you?

“These retreats are warm (though maybe not literally) and inviting and your creative energy will flow. A must-attend for any writer, aspiring or otherwise. You’l leave with a sense of reinvigoration and accomplishment.” KIMBERLEY COLLESS Retreater Just Write April 2024

If you’re almost at the end of your first draft, or if you’d like a deadline for your next draft, use this retreat to spur you on to write THE END, then come along and learn how to tackle draft two, and perhaps even share your work with other writers, or get professional feedback from yours truly. ALL THE INFO HERE. Still some places available but watch out! Retreataholics are likely to fill spaces fast. They’re taking over the world! BOOK HERE – Don’t miss out!

These retreats are dear to my heart. They have been such a blessing in my life and I’ve made so many wonderful friends through them. I may not have a best selling book yet, but my heart is full with the love of my fellow writing women and the stories that they write, turning pain into something beautiful. I’m so very proud of you all!

“Edwina’s retreats always nourish my creativity and I come away feeling inspired and motivated with new ideas for my current projects.” Barb Hunt Retreater Just Write 2024

Come along on a retreat and join our wonderful tribe of writing women. It could very well change your life. They’ve sure changed mine!

Lots of love

Edwina xx

“Edwina certainly knows how to bring together a dynamic writers’ retreat. The combination of subject matter, breathing techniques, tarot readings, spiritual practices and a great environment all contribute to a great place to learn, to feel safe and to grow our skills.” Vicki Bennett Retreater Just Write 2024

Got my swim in! 🙂