SHOW DON’T TELL (mostly)

But how do I do it?

One of the first pieces of advice all new writers hear is “Show don’t tell”. But what does it mean? And how do you do it?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

Really, it’s about the difference between telling someone about an event and RECREATING that event on the page so that they too can experience what it was like to be there. How do we do this? By WRITING IN SCENES!

When we write in scenes we are, as much as is possible, translating experience into word pictures that a reader can see, hear, smell, feel and taste through their imaginations interacting with our words on the page. It’s the difference between telling someone, “I had a really rotten time at school. I was bullied,” and showing them by writing a scene of you being bullied at school so that they can walk in your shoes for a minute or two – so they feel the spit-ball land on the back of your head as you walk through the schoolgrounds, so they smell the rotten egg sandwiches the bully put in your locker, so they hear the taunts and feel the hurt inflicted. 

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HOW DO YOU DO IT?

Look through what you’ve written, whether it’s memoir or fiction it all works the same. Find a passage where you’re telling – don’t worry we all do it, even experienced writers have unwanted patches of telling in their first drafts – something that has potential for a scene. For example, “My father was a really great man”. Instead of telling us, SHOW US how he was great, in his own unique way. 

Write the scene of how he did you wrong, show us the good he did. Let us hear him speak, the things he said, the smell of him. Find a moment of a harsher side of him too, so he becomes more than a caricature of goodness. Develop the scene fully. Show us the conflict. Think of each scene as a little mini story painting a picture of the life you want to portray, the plot point you want to illustrate, the character you want us to understand.

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Here’s an article on HOW TO WRITE A SCENE IN 6 EASY STEPS and another on WRITING CONCISE SCENES.

TELLING A LITTLE BIT

Though mostly it’s best to write predominantly in scenes, telling is also an important part of shaping and most especially grounding our stories. At the start of a scene for example you need to make sure the reader knows where and when they are in time and place and who the POV character is for the scene. Make sure you GROUND YOUR READER with a little bit of telling – it doesn’t have to be much, a sentence or two. 

For example: When I was seven years old, we lived on the banks of the Oxley Creek in a sixties fibro house my father had renovated himself, so all the doors and windows hung slightly awry. Then you can go into a scene set in that slightly crooked house.

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OR you can use telling to cover a large period of time when nothing much happened. Don’t feel that every single detail needs to be included in your story. Unless you’ve been poisoned, we really don’t care what you had for breakfast, or if your character has chestnut curls after a recent trip to the hairdresser – unless they’re disguising themselves on the run from police.

Instead, you can use a brief passage of telling to fill us in. For example: Three years later I was still on the run, but I was desperate to see my mother again. My sister had got a message to my hut on a Thai island. Mum was sick. I had to see her. No matter the risk. So I dyed my hair brown and curled it, padded myself with cushions, plastered my face in dark tan foundation and took the risk of getting on a flight back to my hometown. 

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READ widely in your genre of choice and mark out passages of telling between scenes. Can you spot them? Now have a look at your own project. Are you mainly telling? What sections might work well as scenes? 

Now WRITE THAT SCENE. Use the tips in my articles on writing scenes to help. Your writing will come alive on the page and your readers will feel as if they too are experiencing the story events, not just hearing about them.

GOOD LUCK! Let me know how you go!

Lots of love

Edwina xx

THE INTROVERT PARTY-GOER’S GUIDE TO WRITING A SCENE!

What does an introvert party-goer know about writing scenes? A lot it seems.

  1. ARRIVE LATE

First of all, just like our party goer, don’t arrive too early in your scene (or your whole book for that matter). Arrive as late as you can at the party – ie just before the candles are lit, the speeches are made, all the important stuff happens. Same with scenes/stories/books. Don’t make the reader wade through a whole lot of unnecessary small talk/backstory. Instead cut right to the chase. Enter the scene just when the really big thing is about to happen. In fancy terms this is called In Media Res -or as I like to call it – CUT TO THE CHASE. Get rid of any unnecessary lead up and get us to the most important moment, that inciting incident or plot twist or heart-clutching moment as soon as you can. 

  • FIND THE HOST

Much as the introvert needs to survey the party’s landscape to find a route to the host, the writer needs to ground the reader in where the scene is taking place and show us who our host is for the scene. Who is the Point of View Character? Make it clear early whose perspective we’re in. The easiest way to choose your POV character is by choosing the character who has most to lose. Make sure the reader knows whose side we’re on and get that introvert over to the host so their presence is registered.

  • DANCE

Now introverts aren’t exactly known for being the life of the party, but getting out on the dancefloor makes your presence very visible and everyone will remember you being at the party. When writing our scene/story, we want some ACTION, no just hanging around the backstory or hiding out in the kitchen/interior monologue. Instead move straight into some action. Dialogue is action. Your characters interacting is action. Movement towards plot goals or against them is action. Leet your reader know you’ve arrived at the party.

  • LEAVE EARLY

Yes, that’s the ultimate introvert party goer trick. You’ve turned up, found the host, made sure everyone knew you were there by dancing, then, as soon as the candles are blown out, you’re off! Same with your scene/story. Once you’ve hit the climax or key turning point in your scene, don’t wear out your welcome by overanalysing the action or rambling on about the deeper meaning for paragraphs. Just leave. Readers are intelligent folk. Let them figure out what it all means themselves. So writers, hit your climax, then get out of there fast! Move on to the next scene and apply the same rules.

Early on in my writing career I was lucky enough to win a mentorship with esteemed editor Judith Lukin-Amundsen who has worked with Kate Grenville and Tim Winton. The first task she assigned me was to go through the whole manuscript and cut at least 10%. Then she made me go through and examine each paragraph and cut the first and last sentences! I tried to be good and do exactly as she said and mostly it made those paragraphs sing, but sometimes I kept my darlings, the precious ones. So, as with any advice, follow your own gut instincts. Try out the advice, see if it works for you and if it does, then BINGO! If it doesn’t, fiddle around with it and adapt it to suit your purposes.

So party goers and writers all, try out this method for parties, and writing, and see how you go. Let me know! Did it work for you?

Keep smiling fellow writers. The world is still a beautiful place and stories are valuable and important. Your voice is valuable and important.

Lots of love,

Edwina xx

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