writing for healing

Cover image of Some Justice by Cathy Byrne

The creative arts have been given to humanity to help us heal and express our emotions and for those more spiritually inclined can also help us connect to powers and energies greater than ourselves. To create is a natural urge that every teenager in the midst of teen angst knows. The relief of that maudlin poem or that furious painting or those piercings that express our anger and despair to the world or just for ourselves.

A whole lot of that healing comes from telling our stories without interruption, without judgement. Writing out our feelings helps us understand them better. Sharing these feelings with others is empowering. Our voices are heard. Our side of the story, our experiences of the world are valuable and valid.

Often, I write to bear witness to the lives of lost loved ones, but there is another power of the written word – justice within a system not yet truly able to serve the needs of women, children or the Queer community.

Cathy Byrne’s brave memoir Some Justice is her justice, the justice she was unable to find through the legal system which still does not hear the voices of children. Crimes against children often go unpunished because the voices of children are disbelieved, ignored or belittled. It takes a courageous adult to take that fight on for the child they once were.

Victims of childhood sexual and other kinds of abuse and assault are still asked, “What were you wearing?” as if any type of clothing or appearance somehow causes the crime. Blame of the victim is still rife. She must have done something. As if the perpetrators of the assaults were somehow controlled by the actions of a child.

They are not.

Cathy’s fight for justice for the abuse she suffered over many years at the hand of her teacher goes further than Grace Tame’s advocacy of child victims in that it shows the impact of childhood abuse, forty years later.

Abuse is not forgotten, it is hidden within the nervous system, which humanity is only beginning to explore and understand. And, because it’s hidden, grows larger and more powerful until, often at menopause, the wounded child erupts from the grown woman, full of confusion, rage and fear. If she has the courage, she fights for the justice denied her as a child. Cathy’s search for justice was not served well by the legal system as it now stands. Systems like state education departments have much more money behind them, yet the victim must risk paying the costs and, worst of all, first prove their own innocence.

My daughter once worked as a judge’s associate and attended many rape and sexual abuse cases. After these experiences she swore that she if she ever suffered a sexual assault, she would NEVER take a sexual assault case to court because she saw how very damaging and accusative the process was – retraumatising the victim. But what was she wearing? The victim blamed for the assaults, her whole lifestyle and clothing choices under examination. I don’t care if they walk around naked, they’re not inviting assault. It takes a strong person to stand up against not only their abuser but also to withstand the police procedures and legal interrogations.

I am reminded of “Lucky Lane” a brave story in Queersland by Robbie Phillips who writes powerfully about his assault outside a club in the Brisbane Valley and his treatment at the police station. Gay Liddington’s beautiful memoir, Will I Ever Be Who I Am? finds the justice she was never given as a child for the abuse that happened within her own family home.

Will I Ever Be Who I Am? by Gay Liddington – you can grab a copy HERE

The fight for justice isn’t only through the courts. As Gay knows, and Cathy’s book Some Justice relates, the fight is often also with the family of the victim who refuse to acknowledge the abuse or its incomprehensible impact, because of the part they often unwittingly played in it. All those mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters who looked the other way become angry with the victim and refuse to accept their truth because anything else is too painful. Writing for justice means your voice is heard even beyond family denials or minimisation.

It takes great courage to speak your truth and force others to see the crimes you experienced through your eyes. But you can!

In writing and publishing your story, your truth is finally heard. The length of the skirt you wore isn’t called into question. Your natural energy and attractiveness aren’t a cause of the assaults. Not screaming for help is understood because of the power imbalances and terror perpetrators take great pains to instil in their child victims.

In many ways, for victims of childhood sexual crimes, until the legal system is reshaped from its original patriarchal model, Writing for Justice is the only way to have the voices of victims truly heard. The only way they can find Some Justice.

BOOK HERE!https://events.humanitix.com/books-stones-event-some-justice-by-cathy-byrne

I’ll be launching Cathy’s brave and uniquely written memoir about her fight for Some Justice this coming Saturday 29 August at 2 pm at the warm and welcoming Books@Stones. The launch includes an opening address from Carol Ronken, Director of Bravehearts. Bravehearts is a leading Australian child protection organisation, dedicated to the prevention and treatment of child sexual abuse.

The event is free but BOOK HERE! You can grab a copy there or BUY ONLINE HERE.

See you there!

Lots of love

Edwina 🙂 xx

I’ll be at Indooroopilly Library from 10am on the same Saturday 29/8 for a Lord Mayor’s Writer in Residence Author Talk about Dear Madman. FREE but BOOK HERE

Will I Ever Be Who I Am - A memoir by Gay Liddington

I first met Gay Liddington when she attended one of my Relax and Write Retreats at Burleigh Heads back in 2019. From the first time I heard about her story of courage and resilience in overcoming a troubled childhood of family violence and abuse, I knew it was a story that HAD to be told. I’m always banging on about the importance of getting those stories that won’t leave us alone out of our heads and onto the page, because, to paraphrase Salman Rushdie, we need to take control of the stories we tell ourselves about the past, or otherwise let them forever shape our futures.

When we claim our stories and start writing them, magic begins.

Suddenly the stories are not who we are, but what we make of them. We begin to believe that we can change and shape futures different from the darkness of the past. We learn we have power over the stories, that we can shape them into the story that we WANT to tell, not just what we NEED to let go of. We write and rewrite and polish until we realise we’ve done it! We’ve created something beautiful from the pain that used to define us. Now it is the beauty that defines us. Beauty of our own making.

This is what Gay has done with her brave and compelling new memoir Will I Ever Be Who I Am.

Not long after we first met, I was looking for someone to do catering for a new retreat centre where I was hoping to run writing retreats. Gay put her hand up and we’ve been great retreat buddies ever since. She cooked, I edited and gave advice and slowly over a number of years Gay’s book took shape. I also took shape, my belly growing bigger with each one of Gay’s delicious sweet treats I couldn’t resist. There’s a reason her partner Phil is known as “Tummy Big”.

Gay, her daughter Kylie and friend June with the book launch table laden with goodies!!

Gay was already a writer, a journalist writing feature articles for The Hinterland Times. Now they’re writing stories about her! Here’s the feature article (pages 4 and 5)they published recently about Gay’s book.

Gay had been writing and performing poetry, stories and comedy for decades, but this was her first concerted attempt at writing her memoir. She wanted justice, she said. And to not go to her grave with secrets weighing heavy on her soul.

Writing our stories frees us and is a safe way to right the wrongs done to us, especially when we were children and had no voice, no power.

Gay and Leah Dodds, owner of Rosetta Books at Gay’s launch.

Gay has always been a “Do It Yourself” kind of person, so she didn’t want to pursue traditional publishing. Instead, she bought a design template from Book Design Templates and figured out how to do the layout herself. She then worked with Paradigm Print Media to develop a cover and have copies printed. Her cover image is her own concept, taken from a photo of her at 17 when she’d first escaped to the army. A photo her abusive step-father had torn to pieces, and her loving mother had glued back together again.

Recently we launched Gay’s powerful memoir at the Maleny Neighbourhood Centre, where, true to character, Gay donated a dollar from every book to support the programs run at the centre to support women, children and others affected by family violence. What a day it was! After months of rainy weekends, the sun shone brightly all afternoon as we sat in the outdoor covered area, close to the Serenity Grief Garden. Gay had made enough cakes and biscuits to feed an army, allocating five pieces per person!

A crowd of friends, loved ones, retreaters and book lovers cheered Gay on as we talked about what it took to transform her memories into a compelling and empowering story. As Gay read excerpts from her book, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. I was already teary from the introductions, so very proud of Gay and all she’s achieved.

We were honoured to have Judith Munday OAM, who was a young officer when Gay first joined the army in 1969, officially launch the book. Judith was there to pick up the pieces and help this broken young woman take her first steps into selfhood. It was only fitting she was also there to celebrate the strong, fearless, creative woman Gay’s become.

Gay’s army memorabilia and the original torn photo.

Gay’s memoir is available for sale HERE on my website, and at Rosetta Books Maleny and Annie’s Books at Peregian. Also coming to Amazon soon for international readers.

There are many paths to publication. Gay’s path was perfect for her, the angels she has such faith in lighting the way before her step by step all the way to her magical day of celebration. Which path will you take?

Here to help you find your way!

Lots of love

Edwina xx