writing

Are you writing a memoir? Read on!

Memoirists are the bravest of writers. They must dig deep into their experiences and hearts to create meaning from the stories of their lives, then expose that tender belly to the world. Publishing a memoir is like stripping off all your clothes, even your skin, and running naked, vulnerable and raw in front of everyone you’ve ever known and lots of people you don’t. It takes guts! Writing of any sort is an act of courage – see my post The Courage to Create, but memoir and all writing inspired by our own emotions and deepest secrets, takes the courage of a child facing a nightmare monster.

Do it anyway!

The world needs more truth. In this age of lies and AI fabrications and hallucinations, only the truth of lived human experience has weight and import. We are all so similar, humans haven’t changed much in what we need and feel in millennia, and yet each of us, like every blossom or leaf on a tree, is different. Unique and original, shaped by all who came before us and every moment that has impacted upon our life stories.

Don’t stay awake all night thinking about your story! Get it out of your head and onto the page 🙂

Capturing that unique spirit and experience of life to share with others is a precious gift. Through sharing the truths of our lives in writing, we connect heart to heart, mind to mind, in a way that can reach across generations and time itself.

Write! Write your truth and don’t be afraid.

Over my work with many memoirists over the past two decades of writing and editing, I’ve learnt I’m not the only one who finds putting my deepest heart on display in my work difficult. I’m essentially an intensely private person. Only a very few of my oldest friends and my siblings, really know all of me. In my writing, I’ve always preferred the disguise of fiction – I like to think of it as a cloak of invisibility. Thrill Seekers is autobiographical fiction, or really, thinly disguised memoir. And most of my writing has followed that same method. I call it the “chicken’s way out”. My Guide Through Grief has snippets of memoir, but mostly I am telling the reader I’ve been through stuff too, so I know what grief feels like. I didn’t write in scenes. I wasn’t brave enough to force myself and my readers to experience those losses again in real time.

You can purchase a copy directly from me HERE – let me know if you’d like me to sign it for you, or someone else.

Writing in scenes allows the reader to feel and experience life events just as you lived them. The imagination is powerful and can’t distinguish between reality and the imagined. Every time we read and feel the emotions stirred in us by a book, we are partaking in the life of those characters. Living other lives than our own. How exciting!

But another aspect to the ‘I’ voice in memoir plays an important role – reflection in hindsight, creating meaning from the chaos of life’s random rollercoaster ride. Both scenes and reflection from ourselves looking back at that scene and creating meaning, seeing patterns, asking questions, examining and releasing, are essential components of memoir writing.

THE TWO ‘ME’s in MEMOIR

a little blonde girl on an old fashioned TV set

PREVIOUS ME – When writing scenes, we must go back and see ourselves as separate from who we are now. Who were you when this experience happened? Can you see yourself from the outside? Often photos are a good way to ease into seeing your past self more objectively. Then we need to create a character from our previous selves, warts, beauty spots and all. A character that is as well painted as every other in our story. More so, as the writer is the protagonist.

Exercise: Close your eyes and remember a scene where you are sitting around a table, eating dinner or breakfast or playing a board game, or having a family or house meeting. Previous You interacting with others. What are you doing? What are you wearing? How do you fit in with the group? Are you speaking? What are you saying? How do you act?

Now try writing that scene in third person, treating yourself as the protagonist.

Glamorous woman showing off her watch - vintage

A glamorous version of wise me now 😀

WISE ME NOW – This is the voice of the writer as you are now, looking back, examining yourself and situations with the benefit of hindsight, creating meaning from the chaos. After writing a scene where you SHOW us exactly what happened and who you were in the past, even if your actions were shameful, then take a pause and shift into Wise You Now to reflect upon the scene, and how it impacted upon you. What questions does it raise? What behaviours do you now see the reasons for? What patterns did this scene create in your life? How does this scene feed into the greater narrative you’re creating? What meaning can you glean?

Exercise: Write a short piece of reflection – a paragraph or two, reflecting on the scene around the table you’ve just written. What did it make you think? Feel? Understand? How did this experience shape you? Can you see a greater pattern? Find some meaning? Ask yourselves questions on the page too. Is this really how it was? How could it have been different? How am I different?

These TWO MEs interweave throughout a memoir and together they create not just a story of your life, but a way of interpreting that life and sharing your hard-won wisdom with others. Vivian Gornick talks about this in her book The Situation and The Story. She says that The Situation is the events of the past we recreate in scenes, but that The Storycomes from the writer’s choice of those events, reflection and meaning creation. See also my post The Benefit of Hindsight.

DEAR MADMAN

When I first started researching and writing Dear Madman (my forthcoming historical true crime memoir) my intention was for it to be a memoir. But once I started writing, the voice of the murderer demanded to be heard, and what I wrote that first draft, was a novel recreating the events leading up to the crime and its aftermath. I’d tried to hide myself once again, the old “chicken’s way out”.

But after attending workshops with the brilliant, generous and talented Susan Johnson and Kris Olsson, I realised that my Wise Me Now voice was essential to interpret and create meaning from the meaningless murder. In order to share all I’d learned in my research and through the process of writing the recreation, and to reflect upon the intergenerational impact of violent crimes, I needed to be there. Me. No chickening out! Bugger it!

At first, I wrote a separate text – an essay titled “In Search of the Shadow Man and the Nature of Forgiveness”, but eventually I realised the essay needed to be a part of the main story. That I was a character in my book, as much as the murderer was. So I interwove my reflections and insights throughout the fictionalised recreation of events and took the path of courage.

Writing this book has almost killed me. I have carried the story of the murder of my Nana’s sister since I was a child, trying to make sense of it, to find a way to understand why such an awful thing would happen. I am beyond excited that finally this story is written and is being published by AndAlso Books in March 2026. YAY! At last. After beginning to write this book in earnest back in 2010, I can now give this story to others and free myself from it, forever.

So dear, brave memoirist, I understand your hesitance about putting yourself into the story, but you need to be there.

Soon you’ll be off and flying – writing your truth and feeling free!

Have courage. Speak your truth. Write your story!

Have you got any tips for memoir writing and creating a character from yourself? Do share them in the comments. I love hearing from you.

Hope to see you at the launch! (subscribe to my newsletter for more launch details)

Lots of love

Edwina 🙂 xx

My new headshot for the book! What do you think?

Patrizia, Bec and Jenny busily cleaning up their sentences at our Italian retreat!

When we write our first drafts mostly we’re pouring words out in a frenzy, carried away by the story unfolding in our heads and getting it onto the page. Sentence structure doesn’t matter, or grammar or repetition, we’re busy creating the stone we’ll use to carve and sculpt our story. After this initial flurry and all the joy of creation, the real work of writing begins, rewriting — doing that sculpting and refining to shape and polish our stories to publishable standard. Writing is rewriting.

Whether you’re writing a short piece or something longer these 5 easy tips will help strengthen your writing.

Cut the total word count by ten percent.

Yes, I know this may have you weeping and gnashing your teeth. I certainly felt this way when one of my earliest mentors Judith Lukin-Amundsen told me to do so. But she’d edited Tim Winton and Kate Grenville, so I wasn’t going to argue. My 90 000 word MS had to lose 9000! The easiest way to do this is by cutting whole chapters or scenes that aren’t moving the plot forward, any characters that are only echoes of others or who can be conglomerated with another. EG only one best friend, not three. Write up a scene list and see what can go. We don’t need scenes recounting what went on in a previous scene, unless the perspective is completely different or we have new information. See here for how to do a scene list.

2. Cut the first and last sentence of every paragraph.

I can hear the screams from here! No! Not my fabulous opening line!

This is another tip from Judith L-A. You don’t have to take it literally, but you do need to look at every paragraph under a microscope to see what can go.

Have you written your way into the heart of what you wanted to say with some unnecessary set up? Is a character thinking back to an event that’s just happened? CUT. Did you get carried away by the beauty of your own words with a fancy last sentence at the end of every paragraph? Cut most so the best one shines. Make sure every sentence is contributing and not just repeating information we already have.

Just don’t cut off any thumbs!

3. Cut all backstory or research dumps.

Take a good look at your story, especially the opening after your hook, to check if you’re guilty of a backstory dump. This is a chunk of writing TELLING the reader all about your character (or your family history if doing memoir) in one big block. Instead, cut it and put aside to use for your own information and to weave through in snippets, revealing information a little at a time when relevant to the unfolding plot, without dragging us back into the past.

If you’re writing family history or historical fiction your MS may also be suffering from research dumps. These should be addressed similarly to the backstory dump, no matter how fascinating your discoveries. Intersperse research details as the story is being told, through the specific sensory details and settings where your characters are taking action.

4. Bring the reader as close as you can to the lived experience of your characters.

Cut all “can feel/hear/see/smell”. Instead of Sophie could feel the rain falling gently, use The rain fell gently on Sophie’s face, bringing the reader closer to the sensation. Not He could hear the roar of the plane’s engines, but The plane’s engines roared.

Fabulous old cemetery church in Sicily. Bury all those dead sentence openings!

5. Cut all dead sentence openings.

There is/was and It is/was are known as dead sentence openings, filler words that aren’t contributing and can almost always be trimmed from your sentences. For example: There is an old car in the driveway, can be changed to An old car lies rusting in the driveway. Take a good close look at all your sentences that begin with there are/is etc. and see if you can find a better way to structure them.

I hope these tips are useful and you can see immediately how your writing improves. Remember, less is always more. Leave room for your readers. Space on the page and between scenes can reveal more of the story that spelling everything out. CUT CUT CUT!

For more information on writing clearer, stronger prose see THIS POST.

Good luck! Rewriting has a joy of its own.

REMEMBER I have an Online Memoir and Life Writing Course coming up in January and February 2026. Six weeks of workshops, with feedback on your writing. Make 2026 your year to get stuck into that story that needs to be told. All the info HERE. Not writing from life? I have a series of recorded workshops to get you off to a great start too. Info HERE.

Lots of love,

Edwina 🙂 xx