Dear Madman

Are you writing a memoir? Read on!

Memoirists are the bravest of writers. They must dig deep into their experiences and hearts to create meaning from the stories of their lives, then expose that tender belly to the world. Publishing a memoir is like stripping off all your clothes, even your skin, and running naked, vulnerable and raw in front of everyone you’ve ever known and lots of people you don’t. It takes guts! Writing of any sort is an act of courage – see my post The Courage to Create, but memoir and all writing inspired by our own emotions and deepest secrets, takes the courage of a child facing a nightmare monster.

Do it anyway!

The world needs more truth. In this age of lies and AI fabrications and hallucinations, only the truth of lived human experience has weight and import. We are all so similar, humans haven’t changed much in what we need and feel in millennia, and yet each of us, like every blossom or leaf on a tree, is different. Unique and original, shaped by all who came before us and every moment that has impacted upon our life stories.

Don’t stay awake all night thinking about your story! Get it out of your head and onto the page 🙂

Capturing that unique spirit and experience of life to share with others is a precious gift. Through sharing the truths of our lives in writing, we connect heart to heart, mind to mind, in a way that can reach across generations and time itself.

Write! Write your truth and don’t be afraid.

Over my work with many memoirists over the past two decades of writing and editing, I’ve learnt I’m not the only one who finds putting my deepest heart on display in my work difficult. I’m essentially an intensely private person. Only a very few of my oldest friends and my siblings, really know all of me. In my writing, I’ve always preferred the disguise of fiction – I like to think of it as a cloak of invisibility. Thrill Seekers is autobiographical fiction, or really, thinly disguised memoir. And most of my writing has followed that same method. I call it the “chicken’s way out”. My Guide Through Grief has snippets of memoir, but mostly I am telling the reader I’ve been through stuff too, so I know what grief feels like. I didn’t write in scenes. I wasn’t brave enough to force myself and my readers to experience those losses again in real time.

You can purchase a copy directly from me HERE – let me know if you’d like me to sign it for you, or someone else.

Writing in scenes allows the reader to feel and experience life events just as you lived them. The imagination is powerful and can’t distinguish between reality and the imagined. Every time we read and feel the emotions stirred in us by a book, we are partaking in the life of those characters. Living other lives than our own. How exciting!

But another aspect to the ‘I’ voice in memoir plays an important role – reflection in hindsight, creating meaning from the chaos of life’s random rollercoaster ride. Both scenes and reflection from ourselves looking back at that scene and creating meaning, seeing patterns, asking questions, examining and releasing, are essential components of memoir writing.

THE TWO ‘ME’s in MEMOIR

a little blonde girl on an old fashioned TV set

PREVIOUS ME – When writing scenes, we must go back and see ourselves as separate from who we are now. Who were you when this experience happened? Can you see yourself from the outside? Often photos are a good way to ease into seeing your past self more objectively. Then we need to create a character from our previous selves, warts, beauty spots and all. A character that is as well painted as every other in our story. More so, as the writer is the protagonist.

Exercise: Close your eyes and remember a scene where you are sitting around a table, eating dinner or breakfast or playing a board game, or having a family or house meeting. Previous You interacting with others. What are you doing? What are you wearing? How do you fit in with the group? Are you speaking? What are you saying? How do you act?

Now try writing that scene in third person, treating yourself as the protagonist.

Glamorous woman showing off her watch - vintage

A glamorous version of wise me now 😀

WISE ME NOW – This is the voice of the writer as you are now, looking back, examining yourself and situations with the benefit of hindsight, creating meaning from the chaos. After writing a scene where you SHOW us exactly what happened and who you were in the past, even if your actions were shameful, then take a pause and shift into Wise You Now to reflect upon the scene, and how it impacted upon you. What questions does it raise? What behaviours do you now see the reasons for? What patterns did this scene create in your life? How does this scene feed into the greater narrative you’re creating? What meaning can you glean?

Exercise: Write a short piece of reflection – a paragraph or two, reflecting on the scene around the table you’ve just written. What did it make you think? Feel? Understand? How did this experience shape you? Can you see a greater pattern? Find some meaning? Ask yourselves questions on the page too. Is this really how it was? How could it have been different? How am I different?

These TWO MEs interweave throughout a memoir and together they create not just a story of your life, but a way of interpreting that life and sharing your hard-won wisdom with others. Vivian Gornick talks about this in her book The Situation and The Story. She says that The Situation is the events of the past we recreate in scenes, but that The Storycomes from the writer’s choice of those events, reflection and meaning creation. See also my post The Benefit of Hindsight.

DEAR MADMAN

When I first started researching and writing Dear Madman (my forthcoming historical true crime memoir) my intention was for it to be a memoir. But once I started writing, the voice of the murderer demanded to be heard, and what I wrote that first draft, was a novel recreating the events leading up to the crime and its aftermath. I’d tried to hide myself once again, the old “chicken’s way out”.

But after attending workshops with the brilliant, generous and talented Susan Johnson and Kris Olsson, I realised that my Wise Me Now voice was essential to interpret and create meaning from the meaningless murder. In order to share all I’d learned in my research and through the process of writing the recreation, and to reflect upon the intergenerational impact of violent crimes, I needed to be there. Me. No chickening out! Bugger it!

At first, I wrote a separate text – an essay titled “In Search of the Shadow Man and the Nature of Forgiveness”, but eventually I realised the essay needed to be a part of the main story. That I was a character in my book, as much as the murderer was. So I interwove my reflections and insights throughout the fictionalised recreation of events and took the path of courage.

Writing this book has almost killed me. I have carried the story of the murder of my Nana’s sister since I was a child, trying to make sense of it, to find a way to understand why such an awful thing would happen. I am beyond excited that finally this story is written and is being published by AndAlso Books in March 2026. YAY! At last. After beginning to write this book in earnest back in 2010, I can now give this story to others and free myself from it, forever.

So dear, brave memoirist, I understand your hesitance about putting yourself into the story, but you need to be there.

Soon you’ll be off and flying – writing your truth and feeling free!

Have courage. Speak your truth. Write your story!

Have you got any tips for memoir writing and creating a character from yourself? Do share them in the comments. I love hearing from you.

Hope to see you at the launch! (subscribe to my newsletter for more launch details)

Lots of love

Edwina 🙂 xx

My new headshot for the book! What do you think?

But whose dream is it?

So, who IS telling your story? Whether you’re writing memoir, fiction or screenplay, you need to make important decisions about which characters you’re going to give a voice.

WHO IS YOUR PROTAGONIST?

Who is the main character in your story?

If you’re writing memoir, even though many writers try to avoid it, YOU are the main character.

If you’re writing fiction you need to decide whose story is propelling the overarching narrative – that character’s goals and battles to achieve them is what drives the story forward. They are your protagonist.

If you have multiple protagonists, one character must have slightly more say than the others – this is the character who begins and ends the story. Other voices can be almost as strong but the protagonist has the final say. In my book Thrill Seekers I have three protagonists, Brian, his younger brother Douggie, and Beck, their friend. Because it is Brian’s goal – to protect his brother – that propels the entire narrative, he is the protagonist. He has the first chapter and the last. So think carefully if you’re dealing with multiple character voices and decide which one is the main driving force.

If you’re not sure about who your main character is, ask yourself “WHO HAS THE MOST TO LOSE?”

HOW WILL YOU GIVE VOICE TO THESE CHARACTERS?

If you’re writing memoir, mostly you will need to write in first person, and learn to embrace sentences starting with “I” or learn to cleverly avoid doing so. However, you will also need to include a reflective voice that I like to call, “Wise you now”, between the scenes bringing to life the past, staring “previous you”. You could write the scenes from the past in past tense first person and the reflective sections in first person present tense, or past tense too, depending on how you feel about present tense.

Fiction can also be written in first person, past or present tense, but managing multiple voices like this can be tricky. Thrill Seekers is written this way, each character is in first person present tense. My Cambodian novel, Child of Fortune has two main characters – an Australian traveller and a Khmer survivor of the Pol Pot regime. Both of these women are written in first person, past tense. These days however, due to the Own Voice movement, I would recommend writing characters from other cultures only in third person. I also advise against having only two main characters given voice. This is difficult to manage and becomes a tennis match with one character often overpowering the other. To remedy this, add a third character voice to bring more balance, a plait rather than a ping pong match back and forth.

Most popular in modern fiction is writing in closed third person, past tense. This is the simplest way to manage multiple protagonists. In closed third person, you write using he, she or they in separate chapters that alternate. This method allows for multiple viewpoints and clashing perspectives that has lots of scope for adding interest to your story. However, with closed third person, as with first person, you are confined to what that character has seen and heard and cannot stray outside this perspective.

My latest story, “Shadowman” (Dear Madman in a different incarnation) a literary true crime memoir/novel hybrid, is told in three alternating sections in three different perspectives. The first section is the first-person voice of “the writer”, the second voice is the Shadowman – also in first person. The third section is told in omniscient third person, with the voices of multiple characters, members of the Williams family. Omniscient voice is the “God” voice, enabling the writer to move between character’s points of view within chapters, though I keep them in separate scenes. Modern audiences find this voice confusing, and I must say I found it difficult to manage as well, though I got there in the end.

You can choose to write a character in second person too – the “you” voice – but eventually it becomes synonymous with first person, so is best left to short stories or short sections within your longer piece. It can be used effectively in memoir to give another’s perspective, eg You didn’t say anything. You walked away.

MANAGING POINT OF VIEW

Now you have chosen your POV characters and the voices you will use and how you will animate them, you need to establish the structure and the voices you want within the first section of your book. If you have three POV characters, and you want these voices to interweave (not have separate sections of the whole book – eg Part 1 – Anne, Part 2 – Bob, Part 3 – Grace) you need to set this up right from the start.

For example, Shadowman starts with a chapter from the writer, which establishers her as the main protagonist. The second strand belongs to the Shadowman, and the third strand is the omniscient voices of the family. All three voices have a chapter within the first 10 pages. This lets the reader know what’s going on, who is telling the story, and the pattern to expect right from the start.

AVOID INTRODUCING NEW POV CHARACTERS AFTER THE FIRST ACT

All rules are made to be broken and you can find many examples of characters joining the fray in the second act, or even third, but it is best to avoid doing this. Set up your POV characters in those first 10 pages and then stick with these characters all the way to the end – well one or two may get knocked off!

Avoid introducing new POV characters after act one, this only confuses readers. If you want to bring in a twist that introduces this new POV character, then at least foreshadow this possibility in the first act. Give us a hint that this may happen, mention their name, make them a part of the story in some way, even if they aren’t yet in the action.

Point of view is important to establish early, so the reader knows which characters they are following. Introduce important characters first up so we know whose side we’re on. Keep the number of characters manageable or add a glossary. But who wants to be checking a glossary all the time – except maybe Tolkien fans!

And if you’re writing short stories keep the number of characters low. The lower the wordcount, the lower the character count.

Introduce all characters and the way you will be telling their side of the story early. If you’re a new writer, stick to one voice, at least to start with. If you want to include other voices, closed third person in alternating chapters is easiest to manage, but all this needs to be set up right from the start. Build trust with your reader by showing them your plan and sticking with that plan.

No randoms! No slipping between points of view without intention. Flag all changes in point of view so we know they’re intentional.

Image by Jana Shannon.

Managing POV can be tricky, so think about it before you rush in, and have a rough plan about how you think it will work. It can be lots of fun writing in a few different voices, but make sure they are balanced, that they are each different and that your one main character has first say and the final word.

Hope that’s useful! GOOD LUCK!

Let me know how you go managing POV.

Lots of love

Edwina xx